Wearing: Supre White Camisole; Finders Keepers Maxi Skirt thanks to Mee Mee Boutique; Sportsgirl shoes; Mambo Australia Swimwear, Zophra silver spike necklace thanks to Zophra; Born Pretty colour jelly watch thanks to Born Pretty
(photos taken by Betty Pham)
These past two weeks have been an emotional roller-coaster for me, experiencing many ups and downs to the down points of feeling my heart go numb and to the up moments of feeling butterflies in my stomach. I know its smarter for me not to get into too many details but I will say it involved many of my friends with whom I love; with some I hurt, some I pissed off and some I have shown vulnerability to.
It has opened my eyes and closed my heart simultaneously; but mostly I just feel immense guilt and it eats me up inside whenever I think about it. I am deeply sorry and I didn't mean to cause such hurt and pain...
Being two weeks later now and have taken some much needed time off work, I know the storm isn't over but I am making decisions to turn a new leaf in my life and move on forward. Firstly I have to deal with my little demons and insecurities within myself. Secondly, stand up for ME. Third, make amends (whether its to just myself, my friends and to whoever runs the universe). And forth, live my life with self-control, honesty and dignity.
And when I think about it, I am so sick of trying not to step on anyone's toes just to avoid confrontation. I have been doing that for the past year but guess what, I still screwed up. So as I take my screwed up life and try to fix it, I have to remember and be grateful for the good things that are still around: A friend's hug, a mother's pure non- judgemental love, good food, a beer to ease the tension, the hope of changing career, a quiet cigarette, a de-stressing gym workout, a skateboard session, the celebration of a new born baby, a man's soothing touch.
So its a good sign I'm uploading outfit photos, as I've been avoiding my blog for a while because of my friendship/life troubles. It means I am finally taking my life back and will stop being such a cry-baby. And its a shame I haven't done this post earlier because that Zophra silver spike necklace is one of my favourite accessories right now. It deserves to be loved even when I don't exactly feel the love for my troubled life right now.