Elliatt Dress at the Crossroads

Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Elliatt Mechanism Dress Melbourne Cup Fashion 2013
Elliatt Mechanism Dress Melbourne Cup Fashion 2013
Elliatt Mechanism Dress Melbourne Cup Fashion 2013
Elliatt Mechanism Dress Melbourne Cup Fashion 2013
Elliatt Mechanism Dress Melbourne Cup Fashion 2013
Elliatt Mechanism Dress Melbourne Cup Fashion 2013

Wearing: Elliatt Mechanism Dress in Peach/White; Mollini heels; Sistaco Tarella Pink Stone necklace thanks to Sistaco; Diva flowers

The prettiest of Spring is here once again and I think about how far my life has come.
 I still have the same home, the same friends, the same going out habits, the same car. The main difference I find is that I say no to many things now, I choose how to spend my week, I don't feel obliged to go out with a friend, I can imagine what would happen to me more clearly if I chose this or that (my behavioural and social patterns I can detect now), I also know that time purely heals at all.

I'm sadly at a crossroads at my life, I want to confess everything on my blog, on my facebook on my instagram but I try to keep it discreet for other parties involved. I find I'm talking to myself asking 'What do I do' and how to find the courage to cross this path. Truth is, I realised I've been faking my happiness over the past few weeks and I'm trying to come to terms with picking loneliness over faking happy feelings. I didn't mean for it to happen, nor did I know this was the definition but I knew once I woke up last Saturday and I was already crying.

I almost destroyed myself on that Saturday because I was on a rampage to forget my troubles. Come Sunday and I regret it all, vowing never to put myself in danger again for my friends or family's sake.

Recover Recover, what a vicious cycle especially since my Saturday rampage. I want to banish all the sad memories that have come by. Step by step, day by day I am trying to find my laugh again, my smile, things that make me feel beautiful and make me do my silly dances and my lame jokes.
I will find it again, I always do. This time I have to kick my demons to the kurb. I'm sick of writing about sad stuff and how sad I am. I was never like this, dragging my sadness around. Have to find my happiness again....
Shaking it off, I will have to feel it whilst listening to music extra happy like The Beatles, Frank Sinatra or The Temptations and playing with my dogs. Shake it off, shake it off.


4 comments :

Jacqueline Stewart said...

I would say picking loneliness is better in the long run... I'm not gonna say anything condescending or 'I know how you feel' cos I don't, but, I guess, I can say, I think you are amazing, and happy music, or, dwelling in sad music, is pretty good therapy.
On another note, what a beautiful outfit Natalie! I love the lipstick.
xox

Sivi said...

always amazing !

sivi

madamegaliash.com

el_martina said...

this dress look perfect on you!

Sarah said...

I dont know whats going on for you but to me it seems as though you have a great life, you have a bf, friends, a job, social life etc etc - focus on the positives xx

www.hausofsarahrachel.blogspot.com

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